true love + wild kingdom

The First: Daddy, did you know that Mommy was born before you?
The Daddy: Yes, I did.
The First: And then she picked you for her husband.
The Daddy: Yep.
The First: And then you mated, and then I came out.

not necessarily in that order

July 2000, age 5

Mom: What do you do when you "take care of " someone?
The First: You love them, hug them, and kiss them. You feed them and run down a hill with them. You give them a bath, and help them catch a toad and a grasshopper. You help them find things to do when they're bored. Help them grow up and get married. And help them ride a two-wheeler. And a motorcycle. You pick them up. And kiss them.

The First, age 4, with baby brother

let's be clear

The First: Daddy, the baby spit up!
The Dad: Well, he doesn't seem too upset by it.
The First: I'm upset.

cause he's like, 63...

August 2000, age 5

After discussing the next door neighbor's terminal illness, and the fact that he is only 60, you said, "Well, I guess Papa Clyde will be dying pretty soon."

treasure box contents

1. gold Sacagawea dollar (birthday present from 2000)
2. "diez pesos" coin, recent gift from friends at church
3. shark teeth in a gray plastic film canister, brought home from camp by Mom
4. 1996 silver dollar, gift from neighbor
5. amethyst crystal, a gift from your youngest brother's baby shower
6. agate slice, purchased by you with allowance money
7. 1979 Susan B. Anthony dollar, given to you from Mom
8. an old saxaphone reed

us on the side

November 2000, age 5

"This is a map of the world," you say, showing Dad a piece of cardboard with staples all around the edges. "This is the edges, and this is us," you say, pointing to the middle. "This isn't us, on the side. I'll go do some us."

but what does that get you?

January 2001, age 5

"You wanna know how much cents I got? I got a lot. Seventeen cents! I got teenager cents."

she knows it, too

The First to the Ice: Hey, do you know what H-O-T spells?
The Ice: Rachel?

bendy is for hearts

March 2001, age 6

While checking on cookies freshly pulled from the oven:
"I don't like my cookies bendy. I like 'em breakable."

The First, age 2

now they're just "limas"

but you used to call them "heart" beans.

makes sense to me

You asked for us to "higher" the seat on your bike.

can't get a paying job

You are "into" Pokemon cards. You read like crazy and love math. You're playing baseball right now. Is there anything you can't do?

just like an oreo

You told your next younger brother [Ice]:
"You're the middle brother; [the Maker] and I are the side brothers."

not what you'd expect to pay

April 2001, age 6

You have been practicing writing your 2's, since yours look like 5's. You made a sign that said "$22.oo," set it on a chair, and put it out by the street, in hopes that it (the chair?) would sell. No luck so far. For a while, you stood out there, holding your sign up!

don't I know it

May 2001, age 6

The First: You really have a nice purse, Mom.
The Mom: Thanks.
The First: Except you always keep running out of money.

a poet, rather than a musician

The Mom: I wanna play a banjo.
The First: That's a drum with strings.

but it will be blurry

"Oh no! A satellite's gonna take a picture of me!"

-- After running outside in his t-shirt and underwear to quickly feed the cats.

math genius still learning social niceties

June 2, 2001, age 6

The First: How old is Papa?
The Mom: Oh, 55, I think.
The First: Hm. When you're 55, he'll be 75.

(I think that's a lucky guess, so I tell Papa, the First's grandfather, a minute later, as the First listens in. But he surprises me...)

The First: And when Mom's 75, Papa will be 95!

(I raise my eyebrows.)

The First: And when Mom's 95, Papa will be...
The Dad: How old will Papa be then?
The First: In his hundreds!